The Babyfacedassassin on The Asking of the Help

I write about it as though it were a yoga pose, an art form, a gesture of love. I rabbit on about it because it’s always at our disposal and ready to be activated, although, for fear of judgement, we cast it aside. I’m a huge fan of The Asking of the Help. I’d say it was second to my heart, the engine of my existence. I don’t always need it, and I’m not always best placed to give it, but I do know that my near fatal depressive spells have insisted I take advantage of it. Asking for help is something I’m very comfortable with and I consider it a life-long gift gained from despair. The Asking of the Help can be a well-honed skill and when we focus on the ‘positive’ outcomes that grow form our ‘negative’ experiences, this is one I place top-of-the-list, with an encore.

Cast a wide net and you’ll find that Help has many faces – a colleague, philosopher, Facebook friend, loyal pet, aunty, clairvoyant, workshop, life coach or inspiring artist. If you’re looking for wise words of wisdom to overcome a spot of darkness, then its best to get savvy with all things Help. Shrug aside the senseless concern about what people may think of you, as though asking for Help is a sign of weakness, failure or inadequacy – that’s very last century.

In my opinion, the exchange of help is one of the most beautiful acts two or more people can engage in. It brings out the best in everyone – we conquer feats never attempted solo! We become the human in humanity! Helping each other, helping a falling friend, helping someone light their fire while they rummage for a match. Was there ever such an act of pure kindness? When we consider our mental health and lose our grip in the whirlwind of ‘mental illness’, The Asking of the Help can do more for a crises than any other intervention. It’s a fast-track route to safety. I have fumbled, desperate and embarrassed, to the waiting rooms of psychiatric clinics feeling utterly useless in the face of depression yet personally proud that I could summon a: I need help. I haven’t always received what I needed but I always received care, which is liquid gold for illuminating self-sabotaging shadows.

Ask for Help

Anything that suggests moving forward, doing your best, reaching out, reaching in, stating the truth, hands-up-in-air, laughing and crying, facing despair AND inviting help into this region of vulnerability, has my tick of approval in the life of hard knocks. Surrounding oneself with a trusty friend or supportive community with whom you can state exactly how you feel, is worth investing in for the future of your wellbeing, regardless of whether you identify with having a ‘mental illness’ or not. The Asking of the Help is no less common than The Brushing of the Teeth.

I’m continually flawed by the ability of my own depressive nature to sink into dark corners of my mind, and within there lies this hotspot – an inner knowing that I’m not coping. That it’s time to activate The Ask for Help, and that I’m entitled to being held. I think that anyone struggling with a ‘mental illness’ or what I prefer to call, psychological, emotional and spiritual challenges can benefit from discovering when it’s time to ask for help. For it’s the least you can do, when the mind is muffled by mayhem, the heart feels numb and distant, anxiety soars and we begin to withdraw. When you no longer need to go it alone or prove something to someone but for the sake of some relief, seek some help.

For a s/hero to oneself is a s/hero to the world. When we ask for help, we are empowering ourselves and it is through self-empowerment that our mental troubles fade away.

Love always, Charlotte Claire, The Babyfacedassassin

 The Babyfacedassassin! Your friendship is valued!

Photography: Pauline Langmead


5 Responses to “The Babyfacedassassin on The Asking of the Help”

  1. Craig October 18, 2013 8:10 am #

    Lovely post Charlotte. Recognising one’s vulnerabilities, being honest and real with them, and exposing oneself in seeking the help of others takes great awareness and courage. I respect anyone who finds the strength to do that. Stay well, Craig.

  2. Rachana October 18, 2013 12:19 pm #

    Well said Charlotte!

  3. Sarah K Reece October 18, 2013 1:14 pm #

    Beautiful words, thankyou! 🙂 Time and again I see that capacity to reach out, and that willingness to take care of ourselves as the defining difference between those who live well with their stuff, and those who get buried by it. Thanks for adding your voice to encourage honesty and reaching out xx

    • charlotteclaire November 14, 2013 6:43 pm #

      Thank you for the feedback Sarah. I’m really pleased the post spoke to you. CC x


  1. Mental Health and Relationships: Can Self-Care by Sexy? - The Babyfacedassassin - February 19, 2014

    […] If you can find the clarity to make a decision about your mental health care without looking to a partner to make them for you, you are exercising your resilience and proving to yourself that the issues you are facing are surmountable by your own will, by your own instinctive guidance. Researching widely and formulating your own personalised mental health plan is an extremely self-empowered approach to your recovery. You inherently know what’s best for you and ultimately striving for autonomy in making decisions about your health is a healthy goal to have. (Let’s face it: sometimes our mental ill-health impacts our ability to make decisions. Here’s an opportunity to be gentle with ourselves in the upward climb towards autonomy by Activating the Asking of the Help) […]

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